Whispers and Shadows (First published 5/25/13)

(My first 6 blog posts were somehow erased. I have no idea how. For those who are interested, I am re-publishing them now. I will create a brand new post later this week)Pregnant women pass in and out of my daily life. Recently, my company did some work for a client who was seven months pregnant. For the first time in my post trying to conceive a child life, I did not feel sad. I genuinely felt happy for her. My employee is pregnant with her second child. She found out that she is having a boy. She and her husband will now have a girl and a boy. The dream of most parents come true. She showed me pictures of her ultra sound. While I was looking at the grainy black and white images of the tiny life growing inside of her, I congratulated her. I silently thanked my higher power for blessing my employee and friend with a healthy child. I felt happy for her. I also felt a faint pang of sadness. I felt a whisper of the grief for what I will never have. Later in my day it occurred to me that the grief and sadness were mere shadows of what they once were. I felt grateful. I felt grateful for the pain being reduced to a whisper, a shadow. Just for today, I can live with that and feel grateful for my beautiful life.

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