2018 INTENTIONS

DSZQkZJUIAU8CHU

2017 was incredibly exciting, fun, and a bit terrifying.

Last year I:

  • Spent a lot of time I praying Jo wouldn’t die. She almost died in my arms once. And she spent the entire month of March into the first week of April in the hospital.
  • Moved to Richmond to live with my soul mate! This meant not seeing my Mom every day as well as leaving my family and friends. However, my Mother, family and friends could not be happier for me and I couldn’t be happier period. I travel the short distance home frequently.
  • Started a new job and shut down the business I had owned and operated for a 8 years
  • Saw PJ Harvey in concert for the third time. Thanks Amy!
  • Traveled a lot with Jo. Our trips included Williamsburg, York Town, the Eastern Shore, and New York City!
  • GOT ENGAGED (!) at the huge Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, and met Cyndi Lauper on the trip to New York City! It was the most incredible vacation of my life!
  • Experienced the sting of homophobia and acceptance all within the same holiday season. Jo’s family disowned her because she and I posted pictures of us getting engaged on Facebook. They have known she is a lesbian for 38+ years. This meant no phone calls, texts or invites from her family on Christmas. To say she was devastated by their reaction to our joy is an understatement. However, my family has only known I am gay for a year and a half. They completely embraced Jo with open arms. My amazing Mother told her she has a new family now. To receive complete acceptance from my family is the greatest of many blessings I have been given. I kept my true sexual identity hidden for decades because I was afraid of losing my family. Instead, what I was really doing was denying them the opportunity to accept me.
  • I forgot who I really am. I got angry, judged those who are sick and bashed them. I did this constantly with our current president and those who hurt the ones I love. I got righteously pissed off! I posted negative things on social media and spit out hate plenty. I forgot that I am a spiritual being, a Buddhist, and a bringer of peace.
  • I participated in some nonreciprocal friendships. I went above and beyond, reached out, ran errands, rescued, and sacrificed my time and energy for people who didn’t care about me really. Either because they are sick or because I made a bigger deal out of our friendship than they did. These people reached out a little or did me a small kindness just so I would stay on the “back burner” in case they needed me.

 

 

 

 

 

MY INTENTIONS 2018:

  • Allow my deities Guanyin and Green Tara to take the lead in all I do, to stay out of their way and allow life to unfold.
  • Trust that everything that happens or is happening is for my good.
  • Be in and apart of the flow of life and allow the process to be as it is without trying to change it.
  • Raise my voice in irritation less.
  • Act, speak, and think positively even when I don’t feel like it and even when it is difficult.
  • Allow others to have their own experience without interfering.
  • Only participate in friendships with people who return my calls, texts, and efforts to stay connected, who want to see me and have a genuine interest in who I am and not what I can give them.
  • Living in the present moment instead of fearing the future.
  • Look at my phone less and engage with people.
  • Planning my wedding and honeymoon!
  • Traveling a lot!
  • Celebrate my joy with Jo every day!
  • Be a good friend, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and partner
  • Be a force of love, compassion, and peace even when I don’t feel like it and even when it is difficult.

I wish for ALL of you to experience love, joy, and serenity this year! Happy 2018!

 

Advertisements

WE ABSOULUTLY NEED TO KEEP BEING WHO WE ARE

buddha-peace-c

Bear with me for a moment if you will.

I swear this isn’t a political rant.

Nor is it a plea for the tolerance of hate.

I was completely devastated, and terrified by the results of the 2016 presidential election.

The current administration stands against anyone who is NOT : white, male, Christian.

I fall into a few minority groups:

Lesbian, woman, Buddhist.

I never thought hate would make its way into the White House in such a blatant way.

I’m not going to tell you that I think it will get better or that we should tolerate hatred.

However, I will tell you this: WE ABSOULUTLY NEED TO KEEP BEING WHO WE ARE.

I have to live my life based on spiritual principles. If I don’t I won’t be able to live. It’s easy for me to live my life from these principles when the rest of the world is acting in a peaceful and loving manner.

Ah, but this is where the proverbial “rubber meets the road”. Now I get to actually practice these principles in the face of hate.

That means that I have to keep showing up for life as the best person I can be regardless of what is happening in the world. I have to be kind and loving even when it is very, very difficult to do so.

May I propose this to those of you who were kind enough to read this:

Show up for life as a force of peace.

Be kind.

And above all, let the people in your life know what it is you value about them as individuals.

I say this because I can tell you from experience that some of us “minorities” may be feeling a little unsure right now. Letting someone know what it is you value about them can really let them know that they are valued as a person and not just summed up into a category.

I was blessed to have someone do this for me recently. It changed my point of view.

If you see an injustice taking place before your eyes, remember the victim. It is human nature to go after the aggressor. However, it is the victim that really needs comfort.

Now more than ever it is vital to go out of your way to be kind, show love, and do your best.

We are all in this together. Remember that above ALL ELSE.

Freedom

buddha-peace-quotes-3

Due to the fact that today is Independence Day, I find myself thinking about freedom. I have been in the process of becoming freer over the past few months. I have been accepting life as it is more. And allowing myself to be who I am, thus facing my BIG fear of being rejected by the people I love. I am finding that my fear is unwarranted.

The more I live my truth, accept and love myself I am able to love others deeply and without reservation. I am losing interest in judging others. This does not mean that I do things perfectly. I make mistakes daily!

What it does mean : I am able to love others as they are because I am finally able to love myself as I am.

Buddha said: “The price of freedom is simply choosing to be, liberation is in the mind.”

True freedom is of our own making.

People reject other people and hate them because they cannot love and accept themselves completely. This is the most hidden of truths.

Just for today, I encourage everyone to accept yourself in all of your magnificence! Make no room in your heart for hate. Allow yourself to be free!

Happy 4th of July to all!